The Company Line

UPDATE: IT WAS A JOKE THIS MORNING. I WAS DUPED, BUT THIS IS WHAT I WROTE.

This morning seems to be the first morning that Howard Stern isn't on the radio any more in Cleveland. I thought he wasn't supposed to be done until January, which means one of a couple of things.

Either Stern somehow got himself a buy-out so that he could go to Sirius sooner, or Viacom decided to replace him early and keep paying him so that they could get some of his fans locked in to a new show.

Which is where David Lee Roth apparently comes in to play?

Are you serious? If radio success is determined by the age group 18-35, what is David Lee Roth going to do for you? David Lee Roth was the lead singer of Van Halen from 1978 to 1985. He had something of a solo career for a few years after that. What I am getting at is that most of the age range of 18-35, did not grow up with David Lee Roth.

An 18 year old today was born in 1987. That is two years after David Lee Roth finished with Van Halen. More importantly, what age does a kid become a fan of music, or even have an awareness of music? 6 years old at the earliest? That means people who were born in 1981. They are 24 years old today. So that means DLR is missing at least 6 years of the targeted audience before he even starts. And it is really unlikely that anyone under the age of about 10 knew David Lee Roth. That means 28 year olds. All of a sudden that age range has shrunk down to 7 years in the targeted audience.

Judging by his interview with this Russian stripper, he is going to be missing out on even more than that. "Why don't you slither on over here and touch my hair." "Kicking and screaming, bobbing and weaving." Blech.

And don't think that DLR isn't going to try to be funny and controversial. "We are bigger than the London bombings." Eww. If you are going to be a controversial radio host, at least be funny.

And now Stern is calling in and saying goodbye. He is really disturbed and thinks they should give him a chance to say goodbye to his audience. David Lee Roth is getting things wrapped up with Stern and Stern sounds really sad. Howard is almost as delusional as DLR. Was Viacom really going to let him do another 4 months of commercials for satellite?

Well, anyway, the Stern show is done until satellite. To be honest, I was only listening to Stern anymore when I was running out of Opie and Anthony shows to listen to, so it doesn't bug me all that much, but I do feel badly for all those who were dependent on the Stern show like I used to be. It should be interesting what he can do in the uncensored environment of satellite.

In the meantime, if you want to hear a sample of what kind of material you could hear, check out Opie and Anthony on XM Satellite radio as they have been taking full advantage of not having any censorship on their show.