The Company Line

Dearest citizens of the United States of America, I would like to extend to you an offer. I feel a little bit like Lorne Michaels extending an offer to the Beatles to perform on Saturday Night Live, but at the end of the day, I am not Lorne Michaels, you are not the Beatles, and Cleveland is not Saturday Night Live.

That's right folks. I offer Cleveland. When that housing bubble bursts, your net worth is going to drop on paper. Your house's market value will not be nearly as high as it was during these wonderful and speculative times. So, be an anticipator and lower your risk.

If you own a house that you paid $500,000 for and the housing market drops 10% and you try to sell that house, you will have lost $50,000 on paper. If you go to sell that house, you will lose even more with realtors fees and closing costs. 10% doesn't seem all that bad when you consider how much the market has gained in the last 10 years.

I know a lot of you are extended pretty thin because "owning is better than renting." I know a lot of you who live in plush areas have paid monumental amounts of money for relatively small spaces. $1,000,000 for a closet in NYC. $500,000 for a "dwelling" in Miami. $3.5 Million for one of Bill Gates' closets in Seattle.

Let me tell you how far those dollar amounts will stretch in lovely, affordable Cleveland.

Don't worry folks, there are lots of other prices in between. We may not think we rule as much as New York, but the food is fine, the bars have beer, and you don't have to pay to park your car most places. So, please act today before your equity starts to disappear.

We'll be waiting for you.